pakalolo

I hate college with such a passion

I just want to fuck it

hard.

College would make a damn good lay.

What with the playing hard-to-get and all.

I think it's out of my league though.

Ivy league that is.

Life is totally just my safety school.


(imissyou)

SO! On Sabrina's suggestion, i posted this missed connection on Craig's list:

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The charming young women on the train last night. - w4w - 18

me: kissing my girlfriend unobtrusively. Holding her hands, looking into her eyes.
you: screaming "I can't take that HOMO SHIT!" screaming "Dicks are nice, pussies are nasty!" screaming "that’s disgusting!"

I miss your blatant ignorance already. Drop me a line, so we can get together and i can listen to you make a fool of yourself all night long.
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and i got this in reply:

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will u consider me for one time and if u like it more. ur gf is welcome too.

hope i fit the mold. single cute and ready for rain if u r. let me know if a pic is good and send one urself. it's at http://profiles.yahoo.com/royzmpa1 I live on the UES and am european.

Hope to hear back soon
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God. People are so hillariously stupid.

On an even brighter note, i finished my Grossman paper! woot woot!

“Chinese!” one of the women across the train car finishes loudly. My hand is on Sabrina’s cheek, our eyes locked. I wonder if they're talking about us.

I kiss her.

“I swear, if they kiss one more time, I’m going to hurl!” says the other woman.

I kiss her.

“Ew! Oh my god! Dicks are sexy, pussies are disgusting. Stick to the stick!” says the woman across the train car. She is practically screaming. I hold Sabrina’s hand tightly. I’m not used to this. There are tears in my eyes that I wish would disappear.

“Are you ok?” Sabrina says softly.

“I’m fine,” I say. I try to smile.

I kiss her. Hard.

“I’ve had enough of this homo shit!” screams the woman across the train car. The other passengers look at their feet. I stare intently at an ad.

“That’s so sad because,” Sabrina says, “they have pussies too. Internalized oppression,” Sabrina says.

I nod mutely. I am trying not to cry.

“It makes me mad when people who have been oppressed oppress others. I mean, not only are those two women, they’re people of color,” Sabrina says, intoning the words reverently.

“They’re clearly just jealous,” I say, forcing a smile.

“Jealous of our homo shit.” Sabrina agrees. I giggle with a flood of relief.

I kiss her.

“Jesus Christ!” the women across the train car scream. “Stick the stick in there the stick will break!” one of them says, cackling. Or at least that’s what it sounds like she is saying. I’m not really listening.

“I’m sorry people suck,” Sabrina mumbles into my lips.

“Apology accepted."

I kiss her.

Life: a general equation

+ 5 My mom made apple pie
-20 I fail at homework
+40 roses
+367 Sabrina
- 50 My father's existential despair at having nothing to work on
+30 my brother's incredible coolness
+20 finally seeing ben
- 72 pointless inescapable drama
+65 hickeys
- 15 I'm really hungry
+20 phone calls from sarah's dad
-35 I can't write! ahhh!
- 25 I don't have a castle
+15 my senior quote ("standing on a street corner waiting for no one is Power"- Gregory Corso)
-5 the weather
+40 mimi's back in town

which evens out to... 380
not so shabby.

I didn't write this...but...It's funny. So, yeah, you should read it.

Dear President Bush,



Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have

learned a great deal from you and understand why you would propose and

support a constitutional amendment banning same sex marriage. As you

said, "in the eyes of God marriage is based between a man a woman." I try to

share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to

defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that

Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination... End of debate.I do

need

some advice from you, however, regarding some other elements of God's Laws

and how to follow them.



1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and

female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of

mine

claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you

clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?



2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in

Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price

for

her?



3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her

period of menstrual uncleanness - Lev. 15:19-24. The problem is how do

tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.



4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a

pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev. 1:9. The problem is, my neighbors.

They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?



5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2

clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to

kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?



6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an

abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than

homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this? Are there 'degrees' of

abomination?



7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have

a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my

vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room here?



8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair

around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27.

How should they die?



9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me

unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?



10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two

different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made

of

two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to

curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the

trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? Lev. 24:10-16.

Couldn't

we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with

people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)



I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy

considerable expertise in such matters, so I am confident you can help.



Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and

unchanging

yesssssssssssssssssss!
(yay! yay! yay!)
(jumps up and down)

-that is all-


p.s. I haven't been this happy in a while

(that just about sums it all up)

alright, you guys suck. (except sarah)
I'm going on strike until people leave comments.

So i was sitting on the floor of Mimi's bathroom with Laura, playing with Mimi's black cat. Laura, who is allergic, said: "i wish i knew how to pick up cats." And i said, "like, what's a cat like you doing in a shower curtain like this?" And it devolved from there.
-Nice paws, wanna fuck?
-Is all your fur black?
-Is there a mirror in your litterbox? because i can see myself in it
-I bet that fur would look even better in a crumpled heap by my bed

ha!
ahem anyway
sat's


p.s. oh and then, mimi's mother was talking about her aunt who had a hairless cat, and i almost made a completely tasteless joke.

p.p.s. and then i walked home with a plastic bag on my head, and accidentally scared nice ladies in the street while sabrina and laura laughed at me.

p.p.p.s. my hair is kind of red and i look....brazilian?